Depression and Heart Disease
Desperately needed this video! Suggested it on your last Facebook post, thank you so so much!
thx for the information! what do i do if i have toxic family member like my mother who demands i talk to her? she demands she has control over me and knows my life. it is very difficult to deal with her. im 16, so she has even legal control over me its scary…
I hate being passive aggressive. I grew up in a home where being direct wasn't allowed. I had a sister with special needs and any time I'd say "Hey this makes me uncomfortable" my parents would punish me. Not physically, but in a way where I learned to never speak my mind. Now in a serious adult relationship, I tend to be extremely passive aggressive instead of direct and all it's done is hurt the other person. Even being direct hurts our relationship! I'm hoping to start being more direct with people – no matter the outcome.
Hi Kati,Great video! I plan to share it with one of my clients either during session or for homework:) Anyway, I was wondering if you could make a video about some tips for Clinicians on doing psychoeducation during session. 'Im a counseling intern so I;m still getting used to this and it's something I tend to struggle with..I think I tend to get nervous. Thanks!
you are soooo helpful. thx X
I think that she looks like the girl from those who kill hahaha
This was so great Kati! Thank you for sharing this. It's comforting to know that more people struggle with this than we often think…
how to deal with toxic parents that tourture psically and mentally?
What if you want to excommunicate your mother, but that means taking her away from her grandkids???
What if they say that they never told you is because they thought you'd be angry? And even when you deny it they just say you dont know yourself well and they know what you would do and you, yourself dont?
I get this a lot from my mom, and I still live with her too.I can never change because she never tells me what I'm doing wrong when I'm doing it. And to be honest, I'm not even sure if I DID do something wrong anymore.
Whenever i tell her about my boundaries she just gets defensive, says it's not her fault and then never changes what she does.
Loved this video! I came across #4 and thought about this: what if the toxic family wants a rise out of you and wants you to get angry and stand your ground.. Wouldn't it be okay to not say anything as a means to protect yourself?
I would just like to say for whoever feels misunderstood by the other family members, or for whoever gets the ,,oh, but she's your mother" or ,,oh, but he's your father he loves you" to know that i get what you feel and i know I too want to respond them to shut the FUCK up because they don't know what they are talking about. Please search for all the help you can get and make sure you are safe from whoever it is that is toxic wether they are your family or not because you deserve to live a healthy happy life. At least this is what I am trying to tell myself because it is really hard to have people around you who do not understand how harmful such a relationship is.
Thank you so much for this video it helps a lot. I have a toxic member in the family wich is my dad. He transformed a lot from who he was before (or at least seemed to be) and now i just CAN'T STAND to see him, know about him, hear him, or even think about the fact that he exists. He is rude to people, he always looks down on people or just has an aggresive expresion, he is manipulative. He doesn't care about anyone, he yells, he is disrespectful to everyone, he argues a lot and doesn't have anyone to whom he can talk calmly. He by no means acts like a father, like, ever. He is not sincere, he makes things difficult for everyone , and he is just annoying to be around. He is loud, gross sometimes, and dresses ugly. He always negates everything. No one can count on him.
So as you can see, he is an obvious toxic person that i hate to say it, is part of my family. However, there are people in my family who don't see (or don't want to see) any of those things. They are constantly telling me that i exagerate, that i should forgive or what not, that he is my father and other stupid things. I know they don't mean any harm but their behaviour is SO SO ignorant and drives me crazy. I can't POSSIBLY be the only person who sees this awful person for who he truly is.
So i decided to stop talking to him and i haven't for almost a year wich feels good but every now and than there is some other member of the family who sometimes even REQUIRES (aa…what?)that i speak to him because ,,he is my father and he loves me(yeah right) "It is SO very annoying and really harmful but i decided to educate myself more about toxic people and to ignore all those ,,good" advices from family members altogether. Hope it works and i hope there is at least one person out there who feels less alone after reading this. Please stay safe.
I wish I had atleast ONE understanding family member that isn't toxic or gets angry every hour..The prime toxic member is my uncle. He makes me feel bad, he doesn't understand my viewpoint and like an asshole.The whole family really thinks he's good for us, except for my older brother who feels uncomfortable with him too.Even when he is nicer I still don't feel any difference. He jumps to conclusions, he's not open minded and he would get easily angry. Sometimes I think he's being a little kid. But oh well, "he knows what's good for me and he cares for me". Yeah. I don't live with freaking idiots all around me.
We can't even go to a family therapist because they think it's not them but my own fault.
I had to deal with an uncomfortable aggressive situation aimed at my 3 year old via her aunt. I didn't deal with it as the aunt is pregnant and it's bothers me all night that I had a dream we had a fight (so out of character for me). As I've let it slide and she is due to give birth soon I can bring it up again but I need to get an instant back bone. Especially when aimed at my children.
I agree on everything in this video. Especially, the passive aggressive behavior.
I'm going on vacation with a toxic family member 🤦🏼♀️
I'm tempted to spend Christmas in Dublin this year so I can have the satisfaction of telling them to sod off. Christmas is an extremely difficult for me and they deliberately force me to stay with them when they know I'll be feeling miserable just so they can put me down, invalidate me and yell at me for being miserable and say I'm ruining everyone's Christmas even though I haven't said a word. If I don't go I get guilt tripped and emotionally blackmailed and I spend the whole day at home staring at the TV begging for it to be over. So this year I'm going travelling instead.
my dad suck, how to deal with that
I love how u broke that all down.
My grandmother will definitely say mean things right to your face lol. Not as passive aggressive as a lot of people I know, just aggressive I guess. XD
This helped me alot. Thank you
I want to be successful and independent so I can live my own life. Hopefully my mother dies of cancer after a sad and meaningless life and during her funeral, I will go bowling and treat myself to a chocolate sundae.
My husband and I have a toxic relationship getting worse. I have even asked him to give us a break by going to spend some time w/ his elderly dad and he says No. WHy? "B/C I don't want to." So I just keep taking it all and try to keep up façade for children who hat to see us argue….
i was sexually abused as a child by my brother. what if i dont even want to see him but i want to see my family.
People are way too clever. When I would think they are wrong in their behavior towards me. They would simply invalidate my feelings, claim I am too sensitive and can't take a joke nicely. Though they themselves won't take it nicely when same is thrown at them.
My parents do that. The number two part. They act that it's okay to take shit, because their brother /sister is elder to them or because they have done 'so much' for us or simply because speaking for ourselves would led to an argument (in which the other party gets dirty and dramatic and abusive and humiliating). They blame me for the scene that is created afterwards. Speaking for myself and pointing out what is wrong has always met with a lot of criticism and even suppression
What if every of my family members was toxic… They just make me look like shit.
What if they have your kids because your signed temporary gaurdigship. I know that is not spelled right okay anyways so I moved in next door it is only a little over six hundred dollars for me to get the paperwork done and they are both back home but she wants me to buy them back. What do I do and do I tell my kids so they don't think I have given up
I hate half of my family
My entire family is toxic and I am tired of them crushing my spirit…i cant wait to get into university far from home🙏
How if you tell them, but they got angry and seemed not change ?
Love this!! We all need to check those boundaries!
I now hate my aunt and uncle. They did something horrible. I see them every Christmas tho.
I have an issue if I call out my family on something it will literally be world war three. They can't communicate they wil just start yelling and screaming. And I can't cut them off because I live with them 🙄. I don't know what to do.
I feel like my family really doesnt like me because theyre always yelling and fighting and my sisters always call me shit and it just makes me feel horrible. Ive been put down so much honestly that any little thing makes me feel like im a horrible person and i deserve pain. I dont know how to fix it i dont know who to go to and my parents just tell me to keep quiet because they think social services will take us away. Its honestly affecting me so much i wish i could go to therapy but i honestly dont see that as an option especially since im still a minor
My family members are likely panic, perfectionist, selfish, logical problem, and toxic but can communicate to agreements but some agreements are disadvantages to me, they also made me confusing that I am selfish or actually they are! One day I can be on my own I will be surely leaving from them.
I am so glad I found this! I have needed it for a long time but it can help during therapy as well. In partial I have been meeting with my therapist daily.
ThanksIt was very helpful video
I help my parent take care of my grandma im 11 so im the youngest my grandma has been in the hospital and every time she says these horrible for things to me and about me but i feel as if no body cares shes alway sat that this is this shes making up alternative nate realitys like the tvs mind control and im the leader of a cult
big thanks for this, i am 1 step away from stabbing my mother o.o
How to deal with Toxic Family stay away from them.
Thank you for mentioning that it is also OK to NOT see your family, even on the holidays. I went no contact with most of my family members (and all of the toxic ones) almost ten years ago, phasing in with low contact for a few years before that (the phasing for my benefit rather than theirs). It was a difficult decision and one that I still feel pained about at times, especially at holidays. But it was the right decision for me and I am sticking to it.
As you said, people find it amazing that not all of us are happy to see our families for the holidays. Many are also horrified by the idea that I choose to not see mine at all. Some of the same people annually ask if I am going home for Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, etc. (my family lives in a different region) and then annually act horrified that I am not going to see and/or contact family for holidays (plus, I do not celebrate Christian holidays but do not even get into that). The arguments that they make: life is short, it can't be that bad, but she's your mother, and on and on. Those interactions are almost as stressful for me as seeing my family is… OK not almost but still stressful.
I used to try and explain my stance but then realized that that is not my responsibility, especially for causal acquaintances and coworkers who otherwise have no business prying into my life. I have finally started responding, 'you are in a very fortunate place that you have no idea what you are talking about. I am not having this discussion with you because you are unable to understand where I am coming from.' Then I change the subject or walk away.
It has been my experience that when people are directly confronted with their hurtful behavior, they will either get defensive and become even more firmly attached to the underlying belief system which drove their behavior, make excuses and justifications, or change the subject away from their own behavior by blaming you and turning the focus on your own feelings IE how you feel about the abuse.
In other words, in my experience, whenever I have attempted to let someone know that their behavior has caused significant hurt to me, they do not apologize nor does their behavior towards me improve. It's because they're bullies and they enjoy hurting people, particularly people whom they suspect are friendless, poor, gay, etc and therefore make great targets.
I have no idea why your advice requires that I have a conversation with bullies where I confirm for them that their abuse was effective. My only obligation in a situation like that is to protect myself and that means notice from the very outset that I'm dealing with an psycho, and that my best option is just to remove myself from their sphere of influence. Nice people may step on your toes inadvertently but they will stop as soon as they see an expression of discomfort on your face — that's because they are genuinely nice. Genuinely nice people won't keep pressing the wound and pour in more salt, and especially won't press the same wound repeatedly. Say "ouch" the next time they say something awful and see what they do. Do they keep it up or do they stop?
Katie dear you seem like an extremely sweet and thoughtful person with a lot of knowledge and who wants to help, but I think every once in a while your message is a bit on the naive side. Some people are just bullies who enjoy hurting others — they are only PRETENDING to be unaware of the damage they create. That pretense is a major part of their strategy — it's called plausible denial. It's the thing which gets them off the hook when someone backs them into a corner and finally confronts them with their behavior. "Oh they didn't mean to do/say the thing which hurt you, they're so sorry". Some people, the only thing they are sorry about is that they can't continue being mean to you.
Most of your videos are awesome and I really appreciate you a lot. But I really resent anyone telling me that I have an obligation to let an abuser know how effective they were able to hurt me. Instead, when dealing with bullies, I have found the "grey rock" strategies to be much more effective. In addition to the grey rock, I like to turn things back on them, for instance, "Ah okay [Name of Bully] if I understand you correctly you'd like me to lose weight/get a boyfriend/ mow my lawn more often. Is there any particular type of food you'd like me to eat/type of man to date/day of the week you'd like this done?" It makes their control freakery and insults insults look ridiculous. But mostly, I've learned that I can just turn around and keep on walking, and never spend one more second with them.
@kati Morton, what if you’re 1 of 4 people in the house and the other 3 are all toxic and even team up against you? What if they make you so upset that you can’t even explain it leaving you to feel hopelessly helpless against their behavior?
Who is you favorite all time favorite psychologist?
I live with my brother whos gay…i opened up but we ended up fighting so i avoid this to happen again…its just hard he continues to show disrespect n bullies at times…i just keep quiet…i cant ask n talk in diplomatic way as i know it will end up again in a fight
I love your videos! You are spreading inner peace!
My parents want to control me and they want me to fail, they are really toxic people and they slag me off to my siblings manipulating them into hating me ever since I cut contact, is there a certain disorder or something that describes my parents or are they just arseholes someone plz shed some light, and the reason I had to cut contact is they were trying to stop me getting a job by going out of their way to ring the job centre or an employee to say I m no good, they d tell me you can't work your not good enough, they told my friends at the time they shouldn't be friends with me I m a freak, when I was younger my dad locked me in my room and he would only let me out for toilet and meals, he told to tidy my room all the time too and when I did if it wasn't good enough he d mess up my room by throwing my TV, breaking my chair, ripping my matress etc, when I got a girls phone number he demanded he have the phone he had to punch me to get it, my dad isolated me from my brothers and sisters, my mum's bf beat me up and my mum stood their laughing with a glass of rum, my mum stole over 1000 pounds of my autism support money, my mum and dad sent police with machine guns to track me down the police were really angry when they found me shaking they thought it was a joke, my parents never provided any decent clothes I would wear ripped clothing, they made me go hungry, my mum tried to get me arrested this been a different occasion to the gun incident, when i was crying they told me how lucky I was and they told me to man up it was a competition to them they couldn't handle it when I was in pain because they had to be worse off that was their mentality , i d cry all day everyday I suffered when I was younger and I still do even now I m away from them I m scarred, i did nothing to deserve this treatment nothing, I aren't a bully, I don't steal, I m always really kind, caring, respectful etc, i dont take take drugs nothing , I m the kindest person anyone could ever meet in their life it's a shame I got treated like shit, they loved calling me worthless that was their hobbie, etc I can go on all day, and after all this my siblings just dont care so made it really hard, I m lonely with no friends now and I m struggling to get a job because of mental health and grades all sorts I blame my parents and I blame my siblings for not been there for me when my parents were abusing me, sorry I ve written an essay just wanted to include as much as I can remember, needed to write this down somewhere to feel better
To me, the word "family" is just a title. Nothing more.
do you have a folow up video on how to deal with standing up for yourself and then still being neglected and not heard? I know this sounds crazy however I become so overwhelmed and need to know the correct way to behave 🙂
From the early 90’s to about 2006 usually one of my brothers would chew me out at the Christmas dinner table just as we all were eating. I guess I just did something wrong that made me not perfect. The rest of the family would keep eating and not say anything. Did they agree? Was anyone bothered I was being chewed out? I got a bullseye from a tick bite in the early 80’s and I lived with many unusual symptoms and food intolerances. For years family members were telling me to stop faking it. My family are all workaholics so I was the lazy one. I really should have gotten up and left during one of the chewing out sessions. I was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2013. It was on its way to killing me in 2015 until I was on antibiotics for 9 months. I’m 51 now and I still live with chronic Lyme disease. Luckily I can work but I cannot handle working full time. I just have family members that are just plain mean.
Thank you for your video!!!! It's sooo helpful ❤
I hope my mom would watch this video …
Is it healthy for me to avoid my parents for the rest of my life? is it okay for me to avoid ever speaking to them again? My step-mom + my father are+have been pathological lairs. She has ruined thanksgiving for my whole family. I have tried for 10 years to love her, but its no use. she too stressful for me. Some say its unhealthy to run away from your problems, but it would seem better this way in my situation. I love my sister. I always will. I don't mind visiting her or Facebook phone chatting with her. Unfortunately my sister was 16 and young and liked Jason who is my step brother. Odd I know. But he is good person, so it is what it is. Still odd to me though. But since this is the case, and my sister has to stick around. Would it be unmoral to avoid my whole family for a couple of years accept my grandma(which is one of the reasons I hate my parents because dad is mean to grandma too) and my sister. Would it be healthy for me to move aboard for a few years? as to where I come back and visit non estrange family in Colorado like my grandma, aunts and uncles. Plus sister in another state. Is this healthy for me to want to moved aboard since parents are pathological lairs? If it is healthy for me to move aboard what /how am I suppose to answer people who ask: don't you miss your family? your mom and dad? Each time this questioned arose when I stayed aboard in a host family for 3 months(months ago), all I could say was the truth. "No I don't like them. they lie and cause drama". Which gave me a large amount of stress. More than any question ever asked to me. not mention discomfort and hurt feelings that I wish people wouldn't ask me about my parents. Do you have a better answer I should/could give to people I meet aboard about my parents. I mean I could say (TMI–too much information) but that is awkward, for a friend or and acquaintance to hear.
Had a cousin who undermined me on the family chat…Messaged him privately, pissed. And told him to stay out of my business. And he went ahead and put it on the group chat. Mature or not?
Had to cut off my family for 10 years due to their extreme toxic unhealthy behaviors: Gossip, backstabbing, mean spirited and spiteful and jealousies. Best thing I ever did! Taking full responsibility for my own mental health and focusing on how to be centered and calm. If you find yourself caught up in the snares of a sick family dynamic; I recommend this to any and all people who want to be emotionally healthy. GET OUT and CUT OFF until you can stabilize and ground yourself. It's similar to an airplane in which the mask falls down: you must place on yourself first before you can help others.
Thanks we all deal with people who are mad with us in lots of times they don't say what is hurting them and every one is deforent the way to fix something we need to know where is it coming from
You mentioned silence. What do you suggest when a near n dear friend completely shuts you out for almost a year, ignoring your messages ? And Not the first time. 😢💔
Kati, thank you very much for this video. I have this problem every time I have to see my mum and have to spend time with her. It’s more worse, when we‘re alone and in the flat where she lives and where I grew up most of my childhood. And it’s really hard to survive Christmas for me. My mum wants me to stay at her house and spend there nights but for me it’s just a horror scenario. And she is getting touchy, what I really can’t stand when i‘m with her. I felt really bad because she’s my mother I really tried to behave „normal“, but it’s just impossible for me to spend Christmas with her. It’s really a relief to hear that it’s ok to feel this way. Thank you so much. This was my struggle for years and I didn’t knew what to do. ❤️
Kati, my toxic people don't respect my boundaries and they thrive off their passive aggressive comments. Today, I told one of them to stop with the passive aggressive comments. She said, "I didn't say your name." I said, "you know what you are doing. Stop with the passive aggressive comments." She loves for me to leave and go isolate myself. I ignored her and her passive aggressive comments for 2 years I found that if I ignore, she punishes me worse. If I tell her a hurtful, but truthful comment back… she leaves and there is peace at the house. The owners of the house are enablers. This abuse has been going on for 7 years! I grew up with narcs and have effectively set boundaries with them. I'm tired of the abuse, but can't afford to leave due to chronic health issues. What would you suggest? I personally want to keep warning them to watch their passive aggressive comments or I will say hurtful things. Then, say those true, but hurtful things if they continue.
What if you can't cut them off?
W8 for it. Its ur boss
My mother is sooooo passive aggressive…And I grew up to be one too😂I think I unconsciously learned it from her.She was codependent so she made me feel that she has to be my first priority.I feel I was exploited.I was a machine whose only job was to make her happy.It's sickening but I'm trying to recover.
My family is neither happy nor healthy. This year I'm drawing a hard line with my family. Last year was the end of "2 Christmases" for me. I live less than 10 miles from my parents and brother and nobody but my mom makes an effort, so I've stopped making the effort too.
Thank you KatiYes you are so rightAbout family and yes they are only blood And yes I have got rid of my family members because they were so toxin
What if you always sucked it up when you were upset, and now you’ve told them they totally deny any culpability? I’m questioning my own sanity, I’ve tried to understand but I don’t feel seen
Maybe not the most healthy way, but I find it you have to be around toxic members, and they just dont listen or seem incapable of changing (in my case my old man) the only way I can be around him is if I'm baked out of my mind. Even then he manages to aggravate the hell out of me
A happy Christmas to me means no family to destroy this happy time..My Wife & I Are off to our home on the coast..😂😂💗💗👍🌊🌤
You said Asshole I want to give u a hug
Thumbs up, thank you!
What if your brother is a little brat who ruins every holiday?
Been struggling with this a lot lately recently cut off my family my entire family on my dad side due to their toxic nature and how they always put me down and treat me horribly. I recently found out that my grandmother my dad's mom has dementia they've been trying to pressure me to come see them but I know if I do it will only hurt me in the end my mental health needs to come first this video really helps put things in perspective for me I now realize that my mental health is more important then going through the toxic verbal emotional abuse my family will put me throughI suffer from depression and anxiety. They believe that I'm just sad and need to get over it this holiday season I will not be stopping by to see any of them it is their loss prime an amazing person
My big brother is someone i hate very much always does bad to everyone i don't know how to deal with him that is why i wanna move out Does that make me bad ??
Confronting your relatives and calling them out of what you perceive as bullshit sounds does not sound like a recipe for a rewarding holiday season.
You have helped me through a lot , THANK YOU SO Much
The girl makes alot of good points. But when a person becomes withdrawn, its easier to see them as the problem and just keep moving forward.
Amazing video kati 💕
Needed this, really!
My family is exactly the same that made me feel as if I am a bad person and I don't deserve to be free and happy, spoiled many years to turn it into a healthy relationship!
I desperately want you to join the school of life community
What if their your parent or grandparent
How to deal with toxic parents. I don't know how to live with them. I'm soo soo depressed and sad about this toxic unthankful life I'm living. Even i can't explain how I'm feeling. Don't know why I'm so unlucky with unloving parents who never understand their own child. Everyday I'm tryng to be good to them. But they are creating more and more things and pointing out something.But they never comment a good thing they never appreciate me.May God help me to sort out and live this toxic life
I'm honestly in a good relationship with my mother, it is my sister and father that I am having a hard time with. They are complete hypocrite, same one things, than doing or saying the exact opposite the next day, or even minute. I don't know how much more I can deal with them.
I can't see my therapist for like 13 weeks its so hard because now I'm just stuck with toxic family members and they are all so horrible. I hear constantly negative stuff and have no positive support anywhere. my only support was my therapist and i cant even talk to her now. I feel so depressed . I see my cbt therapist and she jsut doesnt get it like the other therapist did she says i have to expose myself to these horrible situations …including seeing toxic family members. I feel sooo sad.
I am passive aggressive that's to my up bringing what you are saying is so me….so this does make me toxic once again I don't understand myself
Wow! This is an excellent video!
Watching this on high volume without headphones so my parents can hear and get the point
Unfortunately this Christmas I’ll have to see my older sister who had recently become very toxic to me to the point where even though she lives in a different state I was having panic attack over her voice and when she comes around I panic over footsteps outside my door, as well as multiple other symptoms. I had to cut contact with her this year which has lessened the symptoms and she knows I was having anxiety over her but due to family pressure I’ll have to see her this Christmas and I don’t know how to cope with this. I think the only reason why I’ve been okay so far is because I cut contact, but now due to someone in the family being diagnosed with cancer there is a lot of pressure from my parents to come to Christmas despite them knowing everything. And my sister is extremely good at pushing my boundaries so even though she knows from my mum that I needed some space I’m worried she’ll get in my face about why I’m not talking to her and I’ll crack and give into her like I used to. My anxiety symptoms are starting to come back and I’m stress dreaming about her again and having panic attacks in my sleep that wake me up. All of my other siblings have issues with my sister as well but my parents seem to think that we’re just being silly despite me sitting down with both of them and telling them how serious my anxiety got whenever she was around but they almost seem to be getting annoyed if I don’t come to both Christmas lunch and dinner, because I can’t physically be in my own house with her, I couldn’t even mourn at a funeral because I was so anxious around her. All do this stress is coming up again and I’m worried that it’s going to explode in my face and I’ll end up being the bad guy. Have you got any tips on how to cope with this because I can’t say no to her because she gets aggressive when I do, even over things like she wants to drink my alcohol and I say no, or she wants my clothes and I say no. I really don’t want to ruin Christmas for everyone else but I don’t think I can cope being around her just yet but I feel like no matter my choice my family is going to hate me for it. Sorry for the rant, just looking for anyone with tips on dealing with this kind to thing around Christmas
While your suggestions are nice and all, could you do a video that focuses on violent family members who are toxic? Some family members of mine hate being confronted and while it's not a problem with me to be mature to discuss what's on my mind, I fear my safety and mental well being is more important than preventing toxicity in family members by engaging with them with things such as calling them out on passive aggressive topics or telling them to stop a certain behavior.
Side note, I see a lot of good content on your channel but they lack the consideration that some people stay quiet due to fear. The best way for them to escape is to relocate with no one knowing there they are. Could you consider doing videos that focus on people who live/lived in fear of aggressive people?
No contact with the narcissistic person period. You made it worse go No contact
What about near impossible relationship with daughter.? No matter how much u try.
This new word ‘toxic’ reminds me of that fantastic Britney Spears song
I blocked a lot of immediate family off 3 years back. They all took advantage of financial and let their kids run over me. Since no contact I love it! Peace and quiet. Now dealing with boyfriends family drama. If it starts taking away from my peace. Pulling myself away from whoever! My well being means more!
Get restraining orders against them and avoid them…
od ,su ,i, smf djr kidy yp;f yjr ,eptdy yjomh kidy nrgptr Vjtody,sd, I move my fingers out the place because is so ugly because is my Mom, and is sad.
I already cut my husbands mother out of my life. Next is mine. They are both the same and can't wait to never have to deal with her again. The day she dies will be the day I am in peace
You oversimplified a complex issue to the point where it stops making sense for almost all real life scenarios. If the person/s who are toxic are your children or close family members or your boss at work, you will be in a disadvantage to deal with the issue.
A toxic person is toxic usually by way of not wishing to change their toxic behavior, even when confronted and usually especially when confronted. Yet their social status may mean cutting them off will not be an easy thing either and a toxic boss or family member may cause great harm to you in the process, such as ruin your career opportunity or turn friends and family against you.
It's easy to say talk to them and label passive aggressive talk bad, but this is not taking into account that if a toxic person is putting up a wall and is actively blocking your communication with them, the emotions and pent up frustration on your part will eventually creep to the surface as you will need an outlet.
It's not simple Dynamics at all since a toxic person thrives on confusion and creating chaos to keep people manipulated and disempowered. The only way usually is to leave but like said, if it's your child or boss, that won't be so easy and has a very deep and irreversible effect to your life, despite the toxicity of the situation.
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