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Depression and Heart Disease

How To Help Our Colleagues With Mental Illness | Incident Report 156


– [Logan] One second. All
right, I think we’re live, Z. – Don’t make me get in my zone. Don’t make me check on my phone. Ball so hard ZPAC wanna find me. I don’t know where we are
right now, Tom Hinueber. We’re talking about mental illness and I already feel unwell, mentally. – Well, yeah – [Z] You know. – Yeah. – [Z] You know. Guys, guys, today’s
show is real important. I’ll tell you why. Margot Kidder died. Margot Kidder, for those who
don’t know, was Lois Lane in the classic Superman series.
The first Superman series, I think the first three or
four, she was Lois Lane. And she was a big part of
my childhood, Tom Hinueber. She was beautiful. She
was smart. She was strong. Even though Superman was a
douche, she kinda kept up, and did her thing. She was a reporter. She was a feminist before
being a feminist was a thing. – How are those Superman
movies still so much better than the ones they made with all the CGI? – Dude, I’m tellin’ you,
it’s just like the original Star Wars episodes are better,
you start throwing CGI, it doesn’t feel right. It’s just like health 2.0,
it doesn’t feel right to us, clickin’ the boxes and
staring at the computer. It’s not medicine anymore, right? So, Margot Kidder got rather
more famous for something that went wrong with her. And that was a mental
breakdown that she had in 1996, where she was found in the
backyard in a house in Glendale, which we all know is the Armenian
capital of the free world. – It’s Little Armenia, Z. – Lil’, Lil’ Armenia, and
by the way, everyone thinks that I’m Armenian ‘cuz
my last name’s Damania. They wanna add an “n” onto
to it, so I’m “Damanian,” and I grew up in Central
Valley of California, which was Little Armenia, and
so I feel like an honorary Armenian. – You know, it’s funny,
I have an Armenian aunt. So, little white privilege
Tom Hinueber actually grew up eating [Phonetic Zahk Tar
Za] and stuff like that. – That’s amazing. You can finally assign
yourself to an actual, legitimate genocide. That’s amazing. – (laughs) – Um, so, which, by the way
that was a real genocide. I don’t care what you say,
Turkish people. You’re liars. – Turkish people are dicks, Z. – [Z] They kind of are. – They really are. – They really are. I
have no idea if they are. I know Dr. Oz is Turkish,
and I hate Dr. Oz so maybe that’s a thing. Anyway, so, Margot
Kidder, speaking of ADHD and metal illness, Margot
Kidder famously had that breakdown in ’96 and they way
that the press treated her at that time was
absolutely unconscionable. They literally made her out
to be this crazy, ex, has-been star who had hit rock-bottom,
was found in this backyard with the caps missing from
her teeth, totally disheveled, wearing rags. And what
came out later is that she’d been suffering with
mental illness for a long time, was diagnosed with what they
were calling manic depression, or bi-polar and had multiple,
sort of mini-breakdowns over the course of her
career, even at the peak of her powers, but no one knew about this. And the stigma of mental illness
was applied to this lady, who had, again, this amazing acting career and she was treated like crap. In fact, one of my favorite
shows, “The Family Guy” actually did something
really horrible to her. Can we roll that clip Logan?
Do you have that clip? – Of course. – Margot Kidder was here. – Oh, we loved you in the Superman movies. You were just wonderful. – (Screams) – I mean, so, look, I
love “The Family Guy” as much as the next
guy, but that sort of… Okay, imagine this, Tom,
like what if Freddie Mercury is dying of AIDS, and
they do the similar clip where it’s Freddie
Mercury writhing in pain from an opportunistic
infection in a hospital bed, and “The Family Guy” does that clip. Would that not have generated outrage of an order of magnitude that
would’ve wrecked the show? – Yeah. It definitely would’ve. I hate that clip. It’s
just, that’s mean, man. And it’s like, where’s
the joke? There’s no joke. – Here’s the thing, Tom
Hinueber is one of the meanest people I know, and that’s why I love him. For him to say that, means that this is a particularly mean clip. And again, you have
family members who suffer from mental illness. My
mother is a psychiatrist. I treat a lot of patients
and have that suffer from mental illness. The
stigma is huge, but part of the reason we wanna talk about
this today in particular, apart from the Margot Kidder
story, which, I think in later life she became an
advocate for mental health. Which is why we have a link
at the bottom here to donate to the National Alliance on Mental Illness ’cause we want to support
people who are supporting destigmatizing mental illness. This idea that we in healthcare
suffer disproportionately from mental illness, including
PTSD, suicidality, burnout, emotional detachment, and
then other mental illness, and the stigma in healthcare
is so strong that we can’t talk about it for fear of being fired. We can’t talk about it as
physicians for fear of licensure renewal. They ask you specific
questions in certain states. Are you diagnosed with a mental illness? Have you been on medications? These kind of things are …
what they do is set up a stigma so that people don’t seek help. Then we have higher than
the normal population levels of suicide, of… – [Tom] Z, fix your mic. – What’s wrong with my mic? – [Tom] It turns into
your beautiful chest. – It’s not easy having
world-class chesticles. – [Logan] It’s not. – It really isn’t. And, you know what? My fans appreciate
that. All three of them. So, this idea then, that
we’re so stigmatized that we can’t even seek
help has been huge. Now, this came to a head actually, ZPAC. So, I did a little
experiment on Mother’s Day. Apart from posting the
interview I did with my wife about the biases against and challenges of mothers in medicine,
I did a “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit, and for some
reason it went super viral and had over 270,000
interactions and views, and went to the top of the Reddit AMA. And that’s weird. I had
all these friends of mine, I haven’t talked to in
years who were texting me, “Hey, you’re Reddit famous.” I’m like, we have a million
followers on Facebook, but we do a Reddit AMA
and suddenly we’re famous? But, this idea, I think at
the top of the Reddit AMA was a comment about burnout, suicidality in medical professions and
that got the most up votes and generated a discussion. And people were tweeting, “Hey, ZDogg’s doing this AMA
on Reddit and you guys should check it out.” But I actually read it
and got very depressed because I realize how deep
the struggle is for frontline clinicians in the country
struggling with burnout, suicidality, mental illness
and completely stigmatized. And that made me think
we should really talk about this today. – [Tom] Like you said, I
grew up with a mother who’s severely mentally ill.
And I’ll tell you this, there’s no casserole coming to your house when your mother is mentally ill. But when your mother
has cancer or something, you are getting love and
support from the community. And it’s always this, like
weird thought of like, well, those people are mentally weak. It’s like, well, should I
call your genetic lineage biologically weak? Because
that’s what it seems like to me, if we’re gonna use the same logic. – You’re spot on. I
mean, this is a disease of an organ in the body … the mind. If you have heart disease,
they do GoFundMe campaigns. They do telethons. Jerry Lewis does telethons for kids with developmentally delay. Do you get the same
destigmatization with mental health? No, because people think
it’s a moral failing. It is not. And the truth is, look,
I’ve talked about this idea, because we’ve talked about meditation, we’ve talked about
mindfulness on the show before and my own sort journey down that path and how hard it is, and how
training your mind is hard. Now, imagine, we’ve talked
about these little sub-minds that process data and do emotions,
and have hopes and fears, and dreams. And the elephant
and the rider and all that. Imagine if you have a
sub-mind, or two, or three that don’t give up. They’re
constantly ruminating on horrible thoughts. They constantly are
projecting a self-image that is inaccurate, bad, hateful,
hurtful, filled with guilt and regret, and this is constantly on loop all the time. Then you put that person
in a healthcare environment where they’re getting
stimulus of the worst kind. Things that would give
a normal person PTSD, we see every single day,
including all the pressures from our colleagues,
administrators, and patients, and each other, and ourselves to perform better,
faster, more efficiently. And you put that kind of mind
that’s already struggling in that situation and it
is going to be a disaster. We have huge levels of
suicide and burnout. I re-posted an episode with
my mom, who is a psychiatrist talking about patients she’s
lost to suicide, to homicide, and how difficult that is. And, I’m telling you, she was
holding back on that episode. When she talks to me about
it, it’s even more candid and it’s so hard, right?
But we stigmatize all of it. If we treated the mind as
an organ, and as a disease process, but also, be
careful of over-medicalizing. So, we don’t want to throw
medications at everything. Sometimes really good
cognitive behavioral therapy, really good psychotherapy,
and just changing our environment, changing our
own personal way that we deal with things, that takes work. And it’s not necessarily a medication. It’s not drugging someone to death. And sometimes drugs are very important. We can’t lessen the importance of that, but this idea that we’re just
over-medicating everyone, that’s not the idea here. The idea is that we
destigmatize the disease. We find the best way to treat
that particular patient. For me, being a Type A neurotic
with OCD, I found meditation has been a tremendous thing
because I’m not severe enough to require medications. My own ADHD is mild enough
that, if I meditate I’m able to focus and practice attention
and peripheral awareness in a balance. And that works
for me, but it’s hard work, and I need support, and I need resources and that kind of thing. Now, imagine you’re working 12-hour shifts again and again and again. There’s no support.
There’s stigma everywhere. Everyone’s telling you to suck it up. And then you have the public stigma, where people like Margot
Kidder are treated as crazy. It’s a no-win situation. The title of this is “What We Can Do to Help Our Colleagues.” Step one is listen to them.
Destigmatize it. Make it okay to say I have a problem and I need help. Change our licensing stuff. Allow for support from
employment assistance programs, our employers, et cetera, to
have time to actually treat, manage, and prevent mental illness. And then start early, like
pre-meds for doctor types in nursing school and all
that to say that this is not something you’re alone. You can have support and we’re
gonna change our culture. But it’s gonna take a
lot of us to do that. – There was a book I read
awhile back, and it was called, “A First-rate Madness,” and
sort of the thesis of the book was that the best leaders
are somewhere on the spectrum of mental illness because
they have higher levels of empathy or caring and understanding because they themselves have suffered. – [Z] Right. And then it’s often when you find mentally healthy leaders are leaders – [Tom] who do the most
harm in a population. Think of somebody like a George Bush. – [Z] (laughs) – You know what I mean? Or a Donald Trump, who’s mentally healthy, – [Z] Right. at least at his own diagnosis. – Well and then that’s right,
the intersection of art, creativity and mental illness. – [Tom] Right. – The people who go into healthcare are pretty creative types. Like, I’ll tell you, our
second year class play was… The amount of creativity
that came out of this group of UCSF medical students,
who, by the way, listen, these are not balanced people. These are not people who are
coming in this with a high degree of mental stability. These are the cream of the
crop of gifted students who are neurotic. They are
driven. They are pushed. All these other things. Then you throw’em in a room. My first year at UCSF,
I remember thinking, am I back in high school? These crazy, intense cliques would form. Everybody’s hyper-competitive,
but pretending not to be hyper-competitive. There’s a big, sort of performance anxiety and posture syndrome and all those things. It’s enough to break the
healthiest person’s mind. Now, you take people who
are already at the edge of creativity, intelligence… We did a show with Blair
Duddy on gifted kids… These guys are already
right at the edge, right, they’re pushing the limits. And you can easily push
them over the edge. Now, we have two people at
NYU, two medical people, a student, I think, and a
resident who died by suicide in the last couple months,
and everyone’s acting like this is such a surprise. This is exactly the
system that we’ve built that’s gonna generate this. And the fact that we don’t talk about it. One of our goals here on this
platform is to give a platform to these topics that no
one wants to talk about, that we all know is happening,
but we need to put it out to the world so that muggles,
non-medical people see it. Our policy-makers see it,
and our academics and people on the front lines see
it and go, you know what, tomorrow I’m gonna do something different. Or at least, it’s in my sub-mind now, I’m gonna ruminate on this and we’re gonna come up with something. – I guess something that I’ve
though about, reflected on for a long time is, and
I’ve admitted to myself, is that I’m not in control of my thoughts, like you were saying. You
know, like, these thoughts just arise like something
would arise in my body if there was a physical
problem with my body. If there were mentally
unhealthy thoughts that were, maybe societally we viewed
them as mentally unhealthy, right, that wouldn’t be my
fault, that would just be something that was arising for me. – That’s a huge step towards
understanding the stigma of mental illness, that thoughts arise. And not only that, but
loops of thoughts arise. And anybody who meditates
at all can see this. You’re quiet, you quiet
your mind and you see them just arising, like, just
clouds across the sky. And that’s why there’s been
a lot of research, actually lately on psychedelics going
back to psilocybin, LSD, high dose psychedelics,
MDMA, which isn’t technically a psychedelic, but it’s
close, under guided conditions people can actually
almost reboot their mind. And these ruminatory
patterns of unbidden thoughts and ruminations can actually
be broken and you actually get a thirty-thousand-foot
view for the first time. It’s equivalent to meditating
in a cave for 30 years, you know, having a guided
psilocybin experience at high dose, at least to hear people who’ve done it’s explanation. – [Tom] It’s so interesting,
too, because it is cultural. We put them in a box as mentally ill. This is just, sort of, their
reality, and their experience as a human being and we’re
putting them over here in the box as like, no, you’re malfunctioning. There’s this shamanic tribe,
and I forget where it is, like Papua New Guinea, or
something, and their name for somebody who’s
schizophrenic is, “one who walks with the dolphins.” And it’s
like, what does that mean? I don’t know, but they’re a
society that takes a lot of psychedelic drugs. So they’re
like, this dude’s having visions, he must be touched by the gods. He must know something we don’t know. Let’s listen to him. And he’s
revered in their society. You know what I mean? – It’s a whole different framing. It’s a whole different framing. And you know, somewhere in the
West we lost a bit of touch with that sort of aspect of
the spiritual, creative aspect of what we’re calling mental illness. Now that doesn’t mean that… So if you have that mindset
it’s very hard to function in our current society. ‘Cause you can’t get things done. You can’t organize your
thoughts, and of course there’s the extreme. Margot Kidder said that
when she had this break she was wandering. She wandered
into Downtown Los Angeles and was taken in by a
couple of homeless people who recognized her as someone
who’s fellow mental illness, and took care of her and protected her. And it goes to show that
sometimes game recognize game. If you suffer yourself, your
level of empathy and acceptance of others who suffer may be higher. So we could all do a little bit with that. Now, I’m not a big fan of empathy because feeling someone’s pain… If you felt a schizophrenic’s
mind, you would not tolerate it for long, and it would
actually lead to yourself you would burn out. You would
make incorrect decisions. You would believe some of the delusions. That’s why family members
with high empathy of people with mental illness can
suffer something called folie a deux, where they
share some of the delusions of the mentally ill family member because the empathy is tight. – [Tom] There’s a condition
tied to schizophrenia called allophrenia, where
you can actually start to hallucinate, yourself. – [Z] Ah. Interesting. And the idea, again is that
we are very suggestible, and that our mind is complex, and it is consisted of sub-minds
that are always feeding our awareness this data. We can improve those things. Medications, therapy, cognitive
therapy, talk therapy, just getting out of certain environments, set and setting. That’s why people who used
to drop acid in the 60’s sometimes would just have
horrible things happen because their set and setting was bad. In other words, their
mindset was bad going in, so now they’re open to
all this crazy stuff, and their setting, where they
were was not a non-paranoid inducing sort of setting. But in guided settings
with the right mindset, these might, we’re seeing
evidence that these drugs might help us understand even
the nature of mental illness and how the mind works. There’s a lot to do. So, Tom Hinueber, other thoughts? – Well, taking it back
to medical practitioners, there’s a lot of things that
are considered mentally healthy or normal, like staying up all night, – [Z] (laughs) – Or just clicking through
these boxes, never asking why you’re doing any of it. Shoving your own compassion,
empathy deep within yourself to just do the thing you need
to do to get through your day. And then we’re surprised when
people burn out and break. These are not normal behaviors. – [Z] We’ve set people
up in healthcare to fail. You know, there was a guy on Rogan, the sleep specialist from Berkeley, – [Tom] Right. Yeah, and he talked
about the origins of why residents stay up all night
can be traced to a doctor in the 1800’s who was a
cocaine addict and expected all his residents to keep pace with him. So he would stay up for 36 hours
’cause he was high on coke, and he expected his residents
to keep up with him. So the culture was set then
by a cocaine-addicted doctor, which is a mental illness in itself. Cocaine dependency is in the
DSM-5, right, as a disease. You’re now expecting
medical students to behave in this model, and it
persists to this day. Things are slowly changing, but we have to change them faster. Uh, what do you think, Tom Hinueber? – Cocaine’s a helluva drug. – It’s a helluva drug. – [Z] Cocaine is a helluva
drug. Charlie Murphy. So, guys, this is what you can
do to help raise awareness. First of all, people
who’ve donated to NAMI, the National Alliance on
Mental Illness, $230 raised from eight people. Thank you. Keep clickin’ that box. Do me a favor, hit “Share” on this thing. Share it with someone you care about. Frame it a certain way, like, “We need to destigmatize this.” That will go a long way. It also helps Facebook’s
algorithm to realize that our content is good and
just and needs to be shared, and helps it disseminate. I don’t know, ZPAC, we love you. Thank you for supporting
our AMA on Reddit, everything we do on Facebook, and for being a part of the tribe. Also, Logan just created a
“Make Medicine Great Again” line of merchandise. So, if you want to support our videos, go to shop.ZDogg.MD.com and
make medicine great again. I don’t know, Tom Hinueber,
what do you think? – There isn’t a single mental
illness that’s a weakness. They’re just a condition
in the human experience. – Normally the show ends with, “I hate you so much, Tom Hinueber,” but it’s hard to hate
you for saying something that actually makes sense, for a change. I hate Logan so much. – [Tom] He walks with the dolphins. – You dance with chickens, Logan Stewart. – [Logan] I do. I do, Z. – I love you, ZPAC. We out. (hi hop music) – What? Dancing with
chickens isn’t like, a thing? – [Logan] Gotta dance with chickens, Z. – I’d dance with… I’d
do the chicken dance. (hip hop music) – [Z] By the way, have you seen my… – Have you seen these? I walk around talking to
myself, wearing these, talking to Steve Jobs’ ghost. – [Tom] That’s a behavior
that’s considered normal that may not be.

46 thoughts on “How To Help Our Colleagues With Mental Illness | Incident Report 156

  1. Sad 😢 about Margot (@ 62 I'm very familiar with her). She had a HARD life, especially with all the stigma around mental illness. Hope she's found paradise!

  2. I had no idea but I remember reading about her story so much when her breakdown occurred, may her transition be one of peace, finally. I've seen many colleagues suffer through mental illness with no support from management. Being a nurse of nearly 30 years, I have seen a lot and the stress of the hours, patient load, pencil pushers, etc does indeed exacerbate underlying issues. Thank you for always being a beacon and shedding light on mental illness within the medical community.

  3. BTW, Rick James made that phrase famous, "cocaine is a helluva drug". Charlie Murphy used to repeat it in his standup sets as he was friends with Rick once upon a time. May they both rest in peace.

  4. I worked for two and a half years on a surgical floor, straight out of nursing school. The pressures and patient loads were so high, I eventually had to quit. We had an extremely high turnover rate on our floor, but I still felt like a failure because I ended up in therapy and on an anxiolytic and left the hospital setting. It was hard for me to admit to myself that I could not continue there, but now I am so happy that I decided it was not worth my mental health to work in that environment. I still have anxiety but I no longer dread going to work each day. Don't break yourself, people!

  5. ADHD and the Military:
    I recently went to look into enlisting in the US Air Force, and was told that since I have ADHD I was disqualified. They allow applicants to apply for a waiver to join if they can prove they can function, which the military has publicly said was to allow people diagnosed with childhood ADHD to join. I was diagnosed at 21, I’m now 22, so I was told I had almost no chance of being accepted. I am a Senior in college getting a BS in Computer Engineering, but I cannot join the military because I have “a learning disability” in their words. I’ve always planned on going into the military after college, and was completely blindsided by this news. Scoring near perfectly on the ASVAB and attending several military camps meant nothing compared to the fact that I was diagnosed with ADHD.

    I believe the medical community needs to shed light on this issue. The structure and discipline of the military is the PERFECT environment for many people with mild-moderate ADHD, like myself. It is a glaring violation of the ADA, which is understandable for the military, but there needs to be opportunity to prove you can perform duties required, and if so you can join.
    After all isn’t that the entire point of boot camp?

    If someone diagnosed with ADHD can complete all the same tasks as someone not DIAGNOSED with ADHD in military training, why should they not be allowed to serve?
    This is extremely frustratig for me, and I’m sure many others, who feel like ADHD is so misunderstood.

    As an aside, 30% of teens today have been diagnosed with ADHD, and from my experiences in the IT field the majority of my peers exhibit symptoms of ADHD, diagnosed or not.
    So as information security becomes the number 1 threat to national security, the military is disqualifying a huge portion of the people in that field. Add to that the fact that most people with CS and IT degrees and experience would much rather join the massive and growing private sector, which pays 3x as much as the military.

  6. On a lecture regarding mental health care, I asked one of my university professors about her thoughts about classifying medical/nursing/healthcare students as a high-risk demographic group for developing mental health problems. Her answer: not really, since healthcare students are better aware of their resources. Which is not untrue, but it's not just a question of knowing what resources are available; it's also about being able and WILLING to use these resources.

    I had a breakdown in nursing school, and it took one minor clinical mistake to throw me over the edge. Didn't work out, obviously, but I want to support healthcare students because I cannot be the only one who became hopeless and desperate down the line of the career I pursued. I wish for no one to ever feel the way I did back then, but there's only so much that can be done when the entire culture of healthcare education is based around the fear of stigma and failure.

  7. Thank you for this. I am a RN with bipolar disorder. People are surprised when they find out and see that I am functioning (usually). I have to keep it a secret for the most part because I do believe it was a factor in the loss of a job. My dad is a retired MD who is on the Board of Directors for NAMI National. Thank you so much for helping publicize this issue and destigmatize mental illness. And thank you for directing people to NAMI. They do a lot of good work to destigmatize and decriminalize mental illness. 💖

  8. I still don't hear about the stigma of schizophrenia for young men in the age range of mass shooters in the news today. Around 18-26. Would like more information on this and attempt to understand how this needs to be discussed and what can be done to work with this young men. It happened to my son, and that truly made me so aware of the need for unconditional love, patience, distance, and time was needed. Medications did not work, and getting off pot also helped his mindset.

    I have seen some horrible things in my 43 years in nursing, and I do have flashbacks to images, but in some weird way, I'm glad I get them, I find I'm not hardened, I remember what I felt, and I tell my stories to the next generation of nurses and make people aware of how talking and debriefing is necessary. Feeling spirits in the OR after a death, having a cry in private when needed, time to decompress instead of pushing-on, is what we need.

  9. Thank you Zdogg for covering mental illness. It's mental illness awareness month and itsvery important forme to see people helping out with advocating mental illness because i have it and many people have it. Depending on who you talk to its 1 in 4 or 1 in 5 people get a diagnosable mental illness within their lifetime.
    I had to move to a place where there was good mental healthcare because a lot of places have only stuff for crisis and not crisis prevention which is extremely important.
    Most people get their diagnosis either during a crisis or at their primary care physician.
    There's a lot of things that we are trying to do to help get things moor available and improve quality. There's awareness walks and more that people can do.

  10. I hate Dr Oz too. I am the anti- doctor oz the best people in the world are Bipolar and yes The Turks committed Genocide. You need to do the tighten up. Listen to Archie Bell and the Drells and tighten your schtick up now

  11. I’ve admitted my mental illness before and later lost that job. I honestly don’t believe it was because of any performance issues. I was absolutely stigmatized by saying out loud that I was struggling following the death of my father and that I was having anxiety after one of those interactions 3 weeks following the death of a much loved family member. Part of my job was having “end of like discussions” with family members at least twice a week. I started struggling because I’d had that discussion with my own family about my 60 yr old father’s imminent death and what we should choose to happen for us if we were in that bed. That discussion became a traumatic thing for me. I continued to do my job, but asked for a 15 minute break to recollect myself after one of those discussions. The HR director, who’d never spoken about a person’s upcoming death, no matter what we in medicine could do. My. HR told me that I was not able to do my job and should consider leaving. If anything, I gained empathy and was better at my job than I was before. I just wanted an extra 15 to 30 minutes per week. I was a pediatric ICU trauma nurse then with 6 years on the job. I was still working at the top of my license and abilities.

    In a way, losing that job was a blessing in disguise. But I am not admitting my struggles openly, even if I stay home for a day, because I just can’t face taking care of someone else on that day.

    I’ve protected my job with an intermittent FMLA nowadays. Sadly, I know my physical ailments are a product of my mental health issues. My FMLA is based completely on the physical symptoms of my mind/body connection that goes haywire when I’ve had too much.

    I have to work. I would be worse without my work. But sometimes I JUST CANT go. I then kinda beat myself up for not being able to go. It’s so messed up. But sometimes I have to crawl off the hamster wheel and stay in bed. I am trying to realize I’m doing something positive in realizing my weakness. I would NEVER say to a patient the crap I sometimes say to myself.

    I’m honestly a bit fearful that someone I work with might see my comment. I’m talking about it here. I hope someday I won’t be fearful of talking about my disease process as if I had diabetes or heart disease. I absolutely have a disease that I treat with medication that is prescribed by a psychiatrist. I see a therapist. I meditate daily. I exercise and have a good diet. I’m doing everything I know to do as a good clinician to treat my illness.

    My disease is still there and sometimes it shuts me down for a day or two. I still don’t talk about it with most people. Except with strangers apparently. 🤪🙄

    I’m currently truly given positive reinforcement for the work I do. I’m also asked if I’m ok. I’m a bit of a Robin Williams type. I typically deflect my problems with humor and smiles. On my really bad days, when I am not ok, I truly hate it when I’m asked if I’m ok.

    Thank you for talking about it…even when I’m not brave enough to talk about it myself at work.

  12. I lost my friend to mental illness and I didn't even see it coming.

    He was EXTREMELY good-looking, was full of muscle, had 8 pack abs, and all the girls wanted this guy. You would NEVER in a million years think that he is suffering. But he ended his life because no one would listen when he tried to explain. I fucked up so bad. RIP Tyler, get the number of some heaven chicas for me. (I want the cute ones tho)

  13. I’m an rn with a BSN. I also have bipolar I. Two years on a medsurg floor as a nurse has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I also work nights. Since working I have grown more angry, irritable, and burned out very early in my career and my mood has affected all aspect of my life. Since school I have never felt like I had help. Recently I finally found medications and a good therapist to help get me through. The stigma of having a mental illness has really affected how I interact with colleges and function at work. The worst part is that I have to constantly be hiding what’s really going on and there is no support to raise awareness without really putting myself and my job on the line.

  14. Thank you for always talking about the issues nobody wants to talk about. Icu Rn here. I’ve struggled with suicidal depression a couple times over my 10 year career and it’s excruciating to go to work everyday, surrounded by so many medications that will easily be life ending if overdosed on. Twice I had to switch hospitals because I went inpatient. I got help, and had to tell my nurse manager because basically I you just tell them you were inpatient for mental health problems they’re going to assume it’s substance abuse.

  15. I had never heard the story of Halsted until I read The Emperor of All Maladies. Now I need counseling for Anger Management 😜

  16. Thank you, Tom, for your casserole comment. It's important to highlight this, both that mental illness is a legitimate disease/disorder AND the impact any disorder has on the whole family and the support the whole system needs. I think people want to stigmatize mental illness because if these people can blame mental illness on a characteristic they don't have (such as "mental weakness") then they can deny it and tell themselves that it could not happen to them.

  17. Hey zdogg! Ramdhan is coming up and many of your subscribers are probably going to fast, please talk about its health benefits and risks please.

  18. The actor Michael O'Hare had to leave Babylon 5 because he started suffering from delusions. The show 's creator, J. Michael Straczynski, offered to put the show in hiatus while O'Hare sought treatment, but the actor didn't want to jeopardize the series and left after the first season. O'Hare asked Stracyzinski to keep his condition until his death.

  19. I have OCD and queer brain, so yeah… It's ok to to be you since there are many colors in a rainbow. ^_^

  20. I work in a clinic that does ECT, TMS and ketamine for treatment resistant mood disorders. We have medical professionals who come in and although we in the clinic harbor no judgement, the amount of shame that they come in with is pretty sad to see, and certainly doesn’t help with fight the mental illness.

  21. Thank you I am 69 and at 68 my physician while talking to me, about something else stopped and said I am not a psychiatrist but something is not right said I was not finishing my sentences gave one of those stupid test. He said he thought I might be bipolar. So I had been to a doctor in one I had seen in the past for Panic attacks and agoraphobia. I had been noticing stuff like excessive shopping, talking extremely fast. The doctor said I was Bipolar. So we start the trying out of medicine. I had reactions to everything he tried. Last time I visited I ask him was I Bipolar he said no that he thought I had an anxiety disorder and ADD. So now he has me on Xanax 2 at night because I cannot sleep and if I have a panic attack during the day I take one. After saying all this it’s a process. It takes a while to figure out what is truly going on. But I am the type person that is open with everything but I don’t like being called crazy. I think like if say something off the top of my head they will say I am crazy but I think they forget about my issues I just well I already told you.
    Not everyone seeks help no money, worried about their jobs, stigma. Thanks for talking about, I am tired of all the gun control screaming.
    These are people who need help and they have not gotten it. All the school shootings last one used his dads gun. I don’t like guns myself but they need to start looking at the cause which in some cases cannot be helped. Sorry I talked to long. I also work in the health care field fo over 30 years not as a Doctor but just about every thing else

  22. I'm a retired Marine, I suffered thru PTSD for 10 years because I didn't want to get passed over for promotion or re enlistment. It's very sad.

  23. THANK you!! For this entire video but more specifically how you lead by example. When talking about the NYU students uou started to say committed but changed to say "died by suicide". Being aware of how we talk about mental illness is SO important.

  24. I have really bad anxiety and depression. I’m a phleb but we are always so understaffed and over worked. I’ve been on meds for a few years but it’s still really hard to juggle working nights, 4 kids, and working in a hospital.

  25. I hope it is okay that I shared this video on my Facebook page, Shaky Synapses. It's my page dedicated to helping healthcare professionals with mental illness find resources, since so many of us have been left out in the cold by our employers.

  26. Working as a nurse with an anxiety disorder and a fragile mind can be incredibly tough for me sometimes. I had my first unexpected death at my nursing home back in the winter. It was a code blue situation where we were scrambling to save this person with literally 3 staff on a night shift. To see her just go into the agonal breathing and just stop was absolutely terrifying. The reason it was is we were unable to find the document due to poor freaking organization to tell us whether she was DNR or not. That’s what got me the most. The panic trying to find the sheet and not being able to. Things were flying. It took me a solid week to recover from that. The next time I showed up to work I had another person who was very sick and I kept having flashbacks of what happened a week prior and felt physically ill. It was hard. It really shook me up. I have been VERY blessed in my nursing home where I have not been stigmatized for my anxiety disorder. The managers are very kind to me and all of us nurses and PSWs are like family.

  27. thank you for mentioning NAMI! i volunteer with them, and it's amazing to see how much the organization can do, but it's tough when most people haven't even heard of us. thanks for making this video in general as well, just talking about it and using the words mental illness is huge for stigma!

  28. I think nonmedical people look at doctors and nurses as super humans. Living a wonderful life outside of the clinic or hospital. When in reality doctors and nurses are people with feelings, just like everyone else. That by virtue of training and profession see and deal with things on a daily basis. That average people outside of health care could not imagine. It's not glamorous when blood, guts, life and death is the center of caring for the sickest of patients. Somewhere in the mix having to deal with loved ones lack of understanding. Trying to balance what you know is in the best interest of the patient. While trying to appease their family.

    I doubt average people could handle the reality of a health care provider's work environment. Possessing a degree in medicine or nursing, should not place a stigma on the need to seek mental health care services for one's self. If anything it should be encouraged, made available and celebrated for those on the front lines of medicine. As mental illness does not discriminate based on the level of education and earning potential of humanity.

  29. My sons, identical twins, disowned me because of my struggles with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I was a very good mother and they had a fun and fulfilling childhood. They have Asperges and I embraced them and their seemingly quirky interests and ways. They were happy. When they were grown (18), the pressure for me to hold it together was lessened. I started to fall apart and eventually attempted suicide. It had nothing to do with empty nest. It was my mental illness crying out to be treated. My twins did not visit me in the hospital. To them, I was flawed, defective. I qualified for disability based on mental illness. My sons said “People with disabilities should die.” One has become a doctor. In his words, “I’m not a doctor because I care abut it people. People are morons. I just think medicine is fascinating.” Now, I have tremendous supports and friendships. I still get triggered and struggle, but more days are happy and productive. And yet, my twins have not spoken to me in several years. Thank you for advocating for de-stigmatizing mental illness for all people.

  30. I finally feel good about myself, jk. Still though..got undiagnosed anxiety and depression. Don't have a diagnosis because I'm scaredish to get help. Let's just say that puberty sucked for me, felt better ever since it ended..

  31. My first year of nursing school I had a teacher question my ability to finish and be able to be a successful nurse because I have depression and PTSD. I still despise her!!

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